april-makes-you-smile:

When I give my all and do everything that I can in order to insure someone’s happiness I don’t appreciate being second choice. It’s like, really? You don’t see how much I do for you? And you’re picking them over me? Okay, cool..

my place is on the field.

performing.　

I’m just going to pick myself up, and keep trying.

Cause in reality, no one gives a fuck. So why bother open up and get hurt, when you can just save yourself from all that bullshit.

We started off with field sweeps. They weren’t that bad except for the fact that I couldn’t do 8to5 backwards. I was like 20 yards off of everyone else. At least I didn’t stop? Whatever.

Then we did the diamond drill 8 times I believe at various tempos. My shins were burning but I made it through.

We then did commands. I think that’s the only thing I did well on…

Theeen we conducted Rocky Point Holiday like 7 million times in a row. My arms were in pain but I pushed through all of this because I was determined to not give up and stop. I only messed up twice but I caught on really quick.

We did the line test and I did fairly well. I nailed them all except for two and that’s a huge improvement from Monday.

In the interview, Mr. Hall and Mrs. Vasquez made me play the chromatic scale and then asked a few questions. I didn’t think it went so bad.

The wait in the library was eh. Then we had to go to the third rehearsal hall for the results. They kept talking about stuff and I just wanted to know. And then they told us.

Brandi Ransom and Lizette Sanchez. I’m so proud of them. They’ve grown up so much and I know they will do fantastic. :)

Well, I didn’t make it. What can I say? Yes, I got nervous. Yes, I cried. But you know what? It sucks. It sucks because it’s something I’ve been working on for three years now and I don’t get it. I’m not gonna rant about how disappointed I am in myself because what kind of leader would I be if I’m not proud of how much I’ve grown these past few years?

All in all, I had a good journey, working my ass off for this. I learned so many new things and I hope I can bring this to the band. All I want is to make a difference and I hope me not having a title will let me.

I love Brandi and Lizette so much. I’m so truly proud of them. :)